A Favorite Relative

My husband has a great cousin. He’s in his 50s(?) He (M) is a DIE HARD Red Sox fan, and a New England Patriots fan. God help anyone who says the Yankees are a better team. M is loud, funny, one of the friendliest people that you’ll ever meet, and he’ll out-hike you on any mountain, anytime. M is full of stories but rarely tells them unless he’s in the mood, which is rare. A few years ago he wall-papered the dining room in our old house and he must have been in a mood because he told me a story.
It should have been a tragic story, but M left all the horror out. What filtered through was a funny, endearing story.:
M was in the Air Force and was nearing the end of his term. Unfortunately he was sent to Vietnam first. He was only about 20 years old. M is this big, huge, bear of a guy, but he refused to carry amunition because he says that he absoultely could never kill anyone. So the Air Force gave him the job of loading the bombs onto the airplanes. IRONY. He hated being there but he knew he would only be there for about one year. When his time was coming up to return home, the US military needed someone to work in the morgue. They needed an embalmer. The last guy who had been doing that, finished his term in Vietnam. M was chosen as his temporary replacement. But M didn’t last long at this job. After completing his “training,” he made a big mistake with his first body. He accidentally let too much embalming fluid enter the corpse and it turned dark blue. From head to toe. IRREVERSIBLE dark blue. The guy had been white. M and the military were relieved it was going to be a closed casket buriel.
No one can tell this story like M. I was in tears cracking up. Even my nose was running. But that’s M. He likes a happy ending.
We’ll be wall papering the dining room in this house later this year, and you better believe M will be putting it up for us.

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One Response to “A Favorite Relative”

  1. Tongue in Cheek Antiques Says:

    Can you send him to my house afterwards?? I ‘ll find a handyman job just to hear his stories!!

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